Oral Sex: The New Religion amongst Tweens and Teens!

Imagine My surprise about two weeks ago when I found out that My 13 year old Son received oral sex (or head...as the kids like to so eloquently put it nowadays) from the little 13 year old girl, who lives down the street from Us!

WHAT? WHO? Not My Boy!?! When did this happen? How in the heck did this get past Me?....and, for so long? (FYI: I'm known as the Mother who knows EVERYTHING about EVERY single kid on the block, and who ever else My Children associate with....YES! I'm ALL up in the little business that They "Think" They have). So getting back to the topic....I was totally flabbergasted as I sat there and listened to My most reliable inside source reveal to Me what'd been sexually going on, not only between this girl and My Son, but between her, her 15 year old sister and EVERY SINGLE boy that live on Our street. Listening to all the grim details of what'd been going on between these children for most of the summer, sent chills throughout My entire body. One, I can't believe all of this had gotten pass ME, of all parents! Two, I'm stunned that My Son would even participate in such atrocities.

You know, I'd watched the news stories, read all the articles, and even participated in some discussions about young girls performing these oral sex acts on boys as if it's second nature. Call it naivety, but I NEVER expected the issue to reach My doorstep, especially since My Boy and I specifically talked (in depth) about sex and oral sex. The last person who I expected to be caught up in the midst of this madness was My Son.

Upon gathering and arming Myself with all the evidence that I needed, the next step I took was outright confronting My Son. He was completely shocked that I'd found out, especially since so much time had elapsed between My learning about it and when the act actually occurred. Although He was caught off guard when I confronted Him about His oral rendezvous, He didn't deny any of it. He was a tad bit embarrassed, but He owned up to it. I asked explicit questions and He explicitly answered each one of them. As Our talk got deeper and deeper, all of the innocence that once plagued His dark round face began to fade away, and it was from that very moment I knew I would never look at Him the same. In that single instance, Our Mother-Son relationship had permanently changed. It was only then that I'd noticed the difference in the pitch of His voice, it'd drastically deepened. His body language wasn't that of a playful little Boy any longer. He wasn't the six pound twelve ounce Baby Boy that I'd birthed. No longer was He the cocky three year old that My Brother taught how to ride a two wheeler in the dead of winter....and for that I was sad. His priorities and the things that He now cared about, are the things that I'll forever worry about...as a Mother....as His Mother.

After completing My rigorous question and answer session with My oldest Son, I took the opportunity to once again inform Him of all the things that come and could possibly come along with engaging in such sexual encounters, especially since this girl and her sister aren't particular about the guys who they're giving oral sex out to. Again. I told Him how I'd prefer for Him to be much older and wiser when He delves into such acts with a "woman". I even attempted to scare Him (again!) by going into great detail about how STD's can affect His male organ, but as I spoke I knew My words fell on deaf ears. He'd already gotten a little taste of the pleasure that should have been reserved for His adult years, and His Mind was already made up to get more when and wherever He could, which meant My words didn't mean to much of anything. Even though He wasn't as receptive to My words as I wanted Him to be, I know He heard Me, and I'm going to make sure He continues to hear Me because I refuse to stop talking about it.

I walked away from Our conversation feeling more sorry and embarrassed for the girl (and her sister) than anything else. As a Mother...as a Woman.....as a Female and more importantly, as a Lady I was and continue to be totally shame for both of these girls. I've ran the scenario over and over again in My head, in an attempt to figure out what would make them stoop so low and do such things. Why would they sacrifice themselves and their dignity? Why do they think that such behavior is okay? If you know Me, then you already know that I was not going to rest until I investigated this situation forward and backwards!

Well after talking to the mother of these girls the only logical conclusions that I was able to arrive at includes lack of guidance, lack of interest, lack of conversation and educating them about themselves, lack of investment, denial and naivety. Then from observing these girls I can plainly see that they don't love themselves.Their self-esteem is shot and they have absolutely no confidence in who they are. They have no idea of their potential because no one has ever bothered to tell them. They want to fit in and I'm assuming that this is the only way that they feel like the boys will ever like them.

So now what? What am I to do next? Well I know that this business of oral sex amongst teens is a serious problem that's steadily on the rise in all cultures, nationalities, class systems and neighborhoods.Teens are not looking at oral sex as being sex, when in all actuality it is. Oral sex is just that, a sexual act! These young people aren't educated enough to know that the same diseases that are contracted through unprotected sex can also be contracted via oral sex. Aside from the biological consequences that are associated with these incidences of oral sex amongst our children, what about looking and assessing this crisis from a moral point of view? Is Our generation parenting that bad that We're no longer instilling any integrity or longstanding traditions in them? Are Our parenting skills lacking in such a way that We're no longer investing in Our children, but instead We're just releasing them out to this world to fend for themselves?

I consider these nonchalant acts of oral sex to be part of a mass epidemic in which a surprising number of our tweens and teens recklessly participate in. I don't single-handedly have the cure for counteracting this behavior, but what I do know is that "actual" parenting is the essential key to getting a strong grip on this crisis. Parenting consists of: talking to Our children, listening to them, educating and investing in them, setting rules and expectations. It's a given that lack of consistent parenting leads to Our children receiving bad advice from their peers and from the streets, which in turn leads to them making bad choices.

Well I've found out that it doesn't take much to lift people up, especially teens and pre-teens. A little bit of talking and showing a general interest in them (meaning tweens and actual teenagers) goes a very long way. I've also had to accept the fact that they're going to make mistakes and maybe even stray away from what they know is right, but it's important that We're there to help them up and get them back on track whenever such an occurrence takes place. Our children have to know without a doubt that they are important to Us and that they are an important part of this world. As parents I Think We need to get back to setting traditions, instilling integrity and meaningful morals into the lives of our babies......and this way of parenting starts before they even have the ability to comprehend what We're saying and doing...it can not wait until they reach their teenage years...because then it'll be too late!